"No, I don't feel like that. I'm older than you but I'm way too fucking young to be anyone's parent," Jake said, making a face. "I don't even know if I'm built for parenthood. I've seen the kind of shit I put my parents do and I don't want to deal with that on my end ever if I can help it."

Jake flicked some mashed potatoes at her to prove that he most definitely wasn't some overbearing pseudo parent.

"If you decide to bring anyone by, that's cool but please let me know because I do not want to walk in on anything gross."