the static or the silence; don't know which is worse

[skepticgirl_1]

I had noticed something strange going on.

I wasn't an expert or anything on Jake. Even though we lived together, we kept a respectable distance away from each other. I didn't want to know all the details of his business anymore than he wanted all the details of mine. But the past couple of days, ever since I had found him at that bar, things had been off.

He had gone out, but judging by the timing of when he left and when he came back, he hadn't been going to work. I had school, but also a pretty flexible schedule that let me out early some days. When I wanted to notice something, keep track of something, I did. And keeping track of Jake made me... well, worried.

I came home from school to find him sitting on the couch, watching TV, and I decided enough was enough. I threw my bag onto an armchair and sat myself, cross-legged and facing Jake's profile, on the couch.

"Okay," I said in a firm but demanding voice. "Spill."

Comments

[gayest_crew]

From the corner of his eye, Jake saw her move and thought, for the barest of moments, that she might be about to smack him for being a bloody prat. But no, she hugged him. Jake sat that motionless, surprised before he reached up and patted her arm. The position meant that he couldn't really return the hug but he could let her know that it was appreciated, welcome.

"Thanks, kid," Jake said quietly. "And don't take that as an insult, it's not."

He took a breath and rubbed at his dry eyes. "I'm trusting you not to tell anyone about this either. Please. I know there's a bunch of bloody loud mouths at the station so it'll get around but maybe not to everyone. Okay?"

[skepticgirl_1]

For a second, I did think to take it like an insult. Not the fact that I was a kid, but maybe he meant it in the way that a hug was a childish thing to do, a childish way to try to make things better. I was way out on a limb here with attempting any kind of comfort, let alone physical comfort, for I felt, well, uncomfortable. The tiniest thing could set me off and on the defensive.

I pulled back so we both had breathing room -- a hug was a lot for me -- and shook my head. "I won't say a word, promise," I said, then gave him a slight, weak smile. "No one's interested in adults when they've got their own drama going on."

[gayest_crew]

"I'll take your word for it," Jake said, blowing out a breath. Hopefully she'd be right and he wouldn't feel like everyone was staring and whispering about him when he next went out in public. He'd been avoiding it for the most part, going out at night and keeping his trips out during the day to a minimum.

"And don't feel like you have to stick around here to take care of me," he added, shaking his head. "I'm all right. You've got school and boys, I'm sure, so don't feel obligated, okay? I'm cool on my own. Won't even get into any trouble without letting you know first."

[skepticgirl_1]

I rolled my eyes. "One boy," I said. Then stopped short when I realized how that sounded. "Not like that just one guy friend, don't you dare start getting ideas," I warned him hurriedly. I would not have him looking into Steve's background just because of a slip of the tongue.

Besides, there were others boys. Boys I was investigating for the purposes of justice. Not investigations I wanted Jake to get involved in.

"I won't go changing my schedule to hang out with you," I said. "But I am here. I mean, I live here. And I could almost always use some quality Jake time."

[gayest_crew]

Jake arched an eyebrow at her, at that 'one boy' remark but he decided to be nice to her and not question her on it. Not right now, though. He would be asking about it when he felt better, when he was more focused on her and not his own issues. He was not going to just let a slip like that occur roll off his back, not when Lois was his responsibility.

"Thank you," Jake said, nodding at her. "I appreciate that."

He didn't know if he'd take her up on it because he was that kind of person but it was nice to know that someone was around, someone who knew what was going on and wouldn't judge him. So, he smiled and nodded.

He was grateful.