time for you to go out go out into the world

It was almost my birthday. Which was, you know, great. I would finally be eighteen. That arbitrary age when the whole world opened up to you and you were officially an adult. Steve was planning a ridiculous, fun birthday party for me, so I was sure to grow up in style.

But I was having mixed feelings.

For one thing, of course, I wanted my family here. I had friends, so the loss of those friends back home -- short of SmallvilleGuy -- didn't hurt as much. But I always imagined turning eighteen with my family there, at least in some part. Now I was going it alone.

And then there was Jake. I didn't know where we stood now that I was reaching adult age. Everything between us was fine, but would we still live together? Did he want me to go? Did I want to go? I wasn't sure.

So instead of doing anything about it, I sat at the table, pushing my food around on my plate, not paying attention to a word Jake was saying to me.