time for you to go out go out into the world

[skepticgirl_1]

It was almost my birthday. Which was, you know, great. I would finally be eighteen. That arbitrary age when the whole world opened up to you and you were officially an adult. Steve was planning a ridiculous, fun birthday party for me, so I was sure to grow up in style.

But I was having mixed feelings.

For one thing, of course, I wanted my family here. I had friends, so the loss of those friends back home -- short of SmallvilleGuy -- didn't hurt as much. But I always imagined turning eighteen with my family there, at least in some part. Now I was going it alone.

And then there was Jake. I didn't know where we stood now that I was reaching adult age. Everything between us was fine, but would we still live together? Did he want me to go? Did I want to go? I wasn't sure.

So instead of doing anything about it, I sat at the table, pushing my food around on my plate, not paying attention to a word Jake was saying to me.

Comments

[gayest_crew]

"Also, I've decided to quit the force and join the circus," Jake says because he knows Lois isn't listening and hasn't been for awhile now. There's something on her mind but he has no idea what it could be since things have been quiet and somewhat stable.

"Figured I'd start off in the clowning business and work my way up," he adds, tapping his fork against the plate. "What do you think, mate?"

[skepticgirl_1]

"Hm?" I jerked my head up sharply at the ting of silverware against ceramic and blinked at Jake. He had been saying something... something about working his way up.

"I believe in you," I said. Only it was less a statement and more a question.

[gayest_crew]

"So, you support me in my plan to adopt fifty chickens?" Jake asks, staring at her in a way that he hopes conveys that he know she's not paying attention to him and the next question out of his mouth is going to be 'what's wrong?'

"Might get crowded in here."

[skepticgirl_1]

I could see what was coming in Jake's look, so I decided to bite the bullet and just blurt out what I was thinking.

Sort of. I didn't know what I was thinking exactly.

"I'm turning eighteen," I announced.

That explained it, right?

[gayest_crew]

Jake stared at her. And waited for further explanation. When none came he just nodded.

"Yeah, I got that," he pointed out, shrugging. "And what's the big deal with that? You're going to be a legal adult so you can smoke and do other shit you better not let me know about."

What the bloody hell was wrong with you, Lois? Don't make him ask if a boy was bothering you.

[skepticgirl_1]

"Yeah, I'm gonna be a legal adult," I said, echoing him. Why didn't he get it? Why did I have to explain this? And make myself feel vulnerable.

"Do I-- I mean, do you-- I don't-- You're my guardian." Guardian because I was underaged. And when I wasn't, what was he? (Other than a friend.)

[gayest_crew]

"Yeah, okay?" He still wasn't seeing the issue here. "And I'll still be your guardian when you're eighteen. I know that means you can do what you want and all but that doesn't change our relationship."

He shrugged. "I'm not gonna kick you out just because you're suddenly an adult."

[skepticgirl_1]

"But-- I mean--"

I sighed and set the fork down so I could push my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"You're not gonna kick me out, but do you really still want me here? You were doing me a favor and now it's like that favor should be done."

[gayest_crew]

"Why wouldn't I want you here?" Jake asked, frowning. "This wasn't a favor, Lois. This was something I wanted to do to help. I didn't go into it with a countdown or something. If you wanna go, you can go. I'm not going to stop you."

He shrugged and tapped his fork on the plate.

"But you don't have to."

[skepticgirl_1]

"I don't know. 'Cause--" Because he only took me in because I'm a trouble maker. Because I needed looking out for. And now, technically, I didn't. But I did. I still really, really did. And I didn't want to let Jake go.

"So you'd be okay with.. me as a roommate? You don't want your freedom back?"

[gayest_crew]

"I have plenty of freedom, Lois," Jake said, shaking his head. "You don't need to go. You can stay. You can stay as long as you'd like. When you want to leave, that's fine, but it's also perfectly good to stay here."

He shrugged, genuine and sincere. "I'd be okay with it. You're good here, mate. I would tell you if I felt otherwise."

[skepticgirl_1]

I was moving without realizing it. I didn't remember getting up from the table, but I did remember throwing my arms around Jake's shoulders for a quick, firm, awkward-feeling hug. It felt strange but also good? I didn't quite know. The jury was still out.

"Thanks," I said, letting go and scurrying back to my seat. All that worrying and wondering and Jake had made it so simple. I felt like an idiot.

[gayest_crew]

"Yeah, no problem," Jake said, staring at her and then laughing quietly. "Were you really that worried, Lois? That I'd want you to leave? You're like my best friend here, you know. Plus, I won't ever get old with you making everything difficult and I mean in the best possible way."

[skepticgirl_1]

"You know what, people are weird and things change," I said in my defense, but around a relieved bubble of laughter that made me sound probably much more ridiculous than I wanted to sound.

"Parents always kick their kids out at 18, and they're supposed to love unconditionally. Why wouldn't you expect me to get my own place? Maybe you stopped liking difficult."

Realistically, I saw now that Jake wouldn't, but for a while there, I wasn't confident of that.

[gayest_crew]

"I'm not your parent," Jake pointed out which automatically made him different. "You can stay for as long as you'd like or you can go whenever you're ready. There's no time limit, Lois."

The only thing that could change would be him being here, he knew. Both of them could disappear at anytime, a thought that sobered him a bit.

"You're good, all right? Stop worrying."

[skepticgirl_1]

"Alright, alright." I raised my hands in defeat, but I was grinning faintly as I did. I hadn't expected this conversation to be so easy, but that was another thing that I was learning, getting used to: opening yourself up made things easier sometimes.

"Thanks." I paused. "Um, do we need to change anything though? I mean, do I still have a curfew?"

[gayest_crew]

"Just keep yourself alive and check in every once in awhile," Jake told her, nodding. "That's all I ask. You can do whatever else you want but don't call me for bail money. If that happens, you got yourself into that mess, you get yourself out."

Tough love!

[skepticgirl_1]

"That's just unfair. You're the one with a job," I pointed out. It was all in play, but maybe a teensy bit serious.

"I'll be a poor, starving college student. How am I supposed to pay my own bail?"

[gayest_crew]

"You know how you're supposed to pay your own bail?" Jake said, eyes widen. "Don't do something that requires bail. How amazing is that?"

No trouble, no jail, no bail, no spending the night in scary places. "See how that works?"

[skepticgirl_1]

"I can try, but sometimes things go wrong, Jake. You know how that works." I was grinning full out now, even though a part of me was utterly serious. One day I was going to end up in jail and I wouldn't regret it in the slightest.

"Accidents happen. People make mistakes. I'm allowed to make mistakes, aren't I?"

[gayest_crew]

"Accidents happen that involve bail?" Jake asked dubiously. "So what, you just happen to drink and drive or you just happen to badger the wrong person? You're allowed to make mistakes but anything involve jail and bail isn't typically an accident. It's a major fuck up."

And he'd still probably help.

[skepticgirl_1]

I gave him a mildly horrified look at the mere mention of the idea that I would drink and drive. He knew me better than that.

"Remember who you're talking to," I said. "The whole reason I'm in your apartment is because I busted up a drug ring without proper back up. And you think I won't end up in jail at some point?"

[gayest_crew]

"If you're good at your job, you won't," Jake said, sending a wink her way. "Just try your best. Don't end up in jail if you can. There are only so many strings I can pull, you know."

And he'd pull them but if he kept doing that over and over, he was going to get called out.

[skepticgirl_1]

I grinned at the wink. He had a point. But, also, if I was good at my job, I would be where the trouble was, and sometimes on the wrong side of the law. Because the law, sometimes? Wasn't doing what it was supposed to be doing.

"I'll do my best," I promised. It was the least I could do.